my_b7_fic: Avon karate chopping (Default)
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This is another prompt from the B7 Crackficathon.



"It's wonderful to be back home," Soolin muttered to herself as she trudged through snowdrifts, huddled inside a oversized coat scavenged from someone who didn't need it any longer, head down and trying to breathe through the ragged fur of the hood. "Ah!" Her boot collided with something hard and immovable. Fallen log? She looked up. "Oh, crap," was all she managed before a pair of white furred arms wrapped around her and picked her up, leaving her feet dangling.

"What a cute little rebel! Just what I always wanted, my own little rebel! I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him..."

Soolin wheezed as the huge arms tightened around her. She kicked frantically. The creature didn't seem to notice, but it was hard to tell because his face was covered in white beard... or possibly fur. Or even moss. Gauda Prime had some strange animals and even stranger people. At the moment she was leaning towards it being human, but she hadn't really decided. "I'm not a rebel!"

"And pat him and pet him and..."

Soolin said, as calmly as possible, "You're hurting me, put me down, please."

"And rub him and caress him and..."

Soolin didn't care for where those big hands were going. "I'm NO REBEL!"

"Not a rebel, George? Then how come you've got a big gun, George?" The hands rubbed at her crotch again while big yellow teeth showed in a grin.

"That IS a gun!" Soolin squirmed. "I'm NOT happy to see you, and I'm NOT A REBEL!"

The furry man-creature pulled the gun loose and tossed it into a snowbank. "Oh George, you were naughty to pretend you was a rebel! I will punish you good. Bad old George."

Soolin whirled through the air to land across a snow covered tree trunk and felt her trousers being pulled down. "NO!" She shouted. There was a tentative pat at her backside.

"George?" The creature sounded disappointed in a childish fashion. "George, you have a funny bottom for a George."

"I'm not a GEORGE!" Soolin thought frantically. "Look, I know where's there's a real rebel, a very cuddly one with a really big gun."

Avon was thinking cold thoughts while sitting on a cold rock when he heard Soolin calling him. "Oh, Avon... Avon..." He looked up and saw her smiling at him, half-hidden behind a tree. "What is it?" he asked.

"Come here, Avon," she said.

Avon sighed and went to her. Huge arms wrapped around him. "My own little rebel," the big furry creature chanted happily as he hauled Avon away. "I will name him George and I will hug him and pet him..."

Soolin watched them go. She smiled. "All right, I'm a rat. But I'm a live rat."


And the prompt was:
An alien Abominable Snowman (think Looney Tunes) decides it wants to keep one of our crew as a pet Your choice who, bonus points if it's NOT Vila or Avon.


I so cheated- I found a short version of this on YouTube and modified it only a tiny bit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JlVqfC8-UI (And didn't get the bonus points because Soolin trusted only Avon to survive and escape.)

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December 2011

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