my_b7_fic: Avon karate chopping (Default)
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"It takes talent to fly a dead ship!" Tarrant shouted. Avon's expression went very peculiar. Even more so than could be reasonably accounted for by a bubble of emotion rising in his cold heart up to his throat and maybe even reaching his brain.

However, the battered blue wooden pillar that wheezed into appearance on the flight deck might be enough to explain it. A tall blonde woman followed by a man with a black goatee and... metal breasts... no, Tarrant didn't see that... leaped out of the box.

The woman said, "Oh, look! That's Avon! He's in all the history books!" She beamed in delight.

The man grumbled, "He's not the biggest villain in the universe. I am." The woman looked at him and squeezed his bum. He gave her an embarrassed smile. "Well, I was before you reformed me, Doctor."

"Well, why don't we reform him, too?" The woman looked at Avon and licked her lips. "He's gorgeous, Master."

Avon was clutching his gun and showing quite a bit of white around his eyes. Tarrant shouted, "We're all going to crash!"

"He's gorgeous, too," the Doctor said, while squeezing the Master's bum again.

"Oh, all right. Better than slugs. Come on." He gestured at the blue box.

"You're insane," Avon finally spoke. "We're not going anywhere with you!" He lifted his gun.

The Master lifted a gadget. Avon and Tarrant shrank down into living dolls. The Doctor picked them up. "I see you've adjusted the miniaturizer. I do hope they won't STAY shrunken."

"Oh, no, that wouldn't be any fun at all." They went back into the box which disappeared just before the Scorpio crashed into Gauda Prime.

The dust settled. Orac whined, upside down under a cracked console. Slave said, "Shut up. This was all your fault."



Dr. Who and the Curse of Fatal Death a 19 and a half minute video will explain everything. The BBC filmed it, so I consider it canon. :^)
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